Nursing Myself Back Read online

  God, I love the kids already too. It seems overnight I’ve become super protective of them; I live for hearing all about those three. Liz has said she thought she was boring me when she speaks about them, but it’s quite the opposite. I know no matter what happens between Liz and me, I want to remain in their lives—all of their lives.

  We are heading over to the reception. The wedding ceremony was exceptional. I found myself a little pea-green with envy, though, watching Ev walk down the aisle to Brent. But hopefully one day I’ll get my turn. I’m so damn happy for them.

  It was fucking awesome that Brent wore his dress blues uniform. And I like the gray suit I’m wearing; I don’t think black would have worked. I feel fortunate to be one of his groomsmen. And the way we were all paired up couldn’t have worked out better.

  Caylan and Alexi are the matron of honor and best man, followed by the remaining groomsmen and bridesmaids. The pairs flowed out from the church earlier as follows: Anthony and Shanna, Gil and Addison, Liz and me, and Meg and Technical Sergeant Harold Jefferson. Our wedding party fucking rocks!

  I was happy to finally meet Harold. He took leave from the base and flew in from North Carolina for the occasion. He is also dressed in his blues. I don’t know the whole backstory and his involvement in the handsome couple getting their happily ever after, but somehow he was part of the reason Brent and Ev ended up together. It was something about a letter, but I’ve never been given all the details. Maybe one day Brent will tell me the story over a beer or something.

  The weather cooperated today. It stayed in the forties until the sun set. At least it didn’t rain or snow, so I considered it a win for them. Their wedding was held at a church near Everly’s work. Brent apparently was insistent that he do things the right way for them and out of respect for his mom and dad. Caylan and Brent are very lucky to have Milly and Fred as parents; they are the epitome of what a family should be.

  The reception is being held at the building where Everly works as an editor. Ev’s boss owns the building, and as a wedding present, he offered to host it there. It’s the perfect venue considering her life revolves around the news; I imagine throwing the party at the same place where the publication is housed is a dream come true for her.

  Brent once told me that Everly’s boss, Stuart, “is a real fucker”—his words, not mine. But he seems like a nice enough guy. I guess at one time there was a misunderstanding, but it appears that everything’s all cleared up now.

  The girls all wanted to ride together in one limo, and we guys are all in another—except for the newlyweds since they’re in their own limo, probably having wild sex, knowing them. I would have loved to have been in my own wheels with Liz, but hopefully there will be time later to be one-on-one with her. Even holding her hand will thrill me.

  I’ve barely paid attention to all the guys as they’ve been drinking and cutting up during the trip from the church to the reception. I’ve been too lost in thought. Finally, Alexi elbows me, and I snap out of it. We’ve arrived at Stuart’s building.

  I can’t wait to see Liz again—pathetic because it’s only been like thirty minutes since we left the church after posing for the mandatory pictures. She looks breathtaking in her bridesmaid dress. Each of the women are in sleeveless aqua-colored dresses that flare out at the waist. The hemline hits them right above the knee. Sexy, yet tasteful and playful. They all have banging bodies, so it was a beautiful sight with them in a row. I’m assuming the extra room in the waist is for Caylan and Shanna’s benefit since they’re both pregnant. Caylan is the only one with a difference in her dress as the matron of honor. She has a pink bow tied around her waist—that woman and her pink, we always get a kick out of it.

  Caylan apparently talked Everly into going with tiger lilies as the wedding flower. I know Everly is not really girly, and she doesn’t give a shit about details like that. I imagine Caylan was heavily involved in planning the wedding.

  I have to admit the orange flowers looked incredible against the dresses and for the groomsmen’s boutonnieres. Who knew I’d enjoy flowers so much? I guess one trip to the florist and I’m an expert, as well as a professional cookie baker thanks to my lessons with Liz. Yup, I talked her into another round of baking, and this time we made classic chocolate chip.

  Fuck, thinking about her has my cock aching badly. I wish tonight was the night I’d finally have her. I told myself I wouldn’t drink, but maybe I’ll have to throw a few back to loosen up. Ya know, weddings are all about something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. Well, I’ve definitely got the blue part covered with my poor balls.

  ***

  Liezel

  We just pulled up to the reception. Lord give me strength not to attack Caleb when I exit the limo.

  I think back to the church and how he looked so damn amazing in his gray suit standing opposite me. I’m surprised no one noticed me drooling during the ceremony. I tried to discreetly wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, but I’m sure I gave myself away if I smeared my lipstick. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I was probably acting like a twit when we strolled to the front of the church two by two. I was giddy just being by his side. When I was sashaying down the aisle, I could pretend all sorts of things and get lost in a fantasy.

  At one point, I got misty-eyed for the newlyweds when they exchanged vows, and I was fanning my face so my traitorous tears wouldn’t fall. As I stood rooted to my spot, dutifully holding my flowers, I wished it was me up there saying the words…with Caleb. Is that messed up?

  I didn’t even think back to my wedding day with William in that moment, and I sure as hell don’t want to even now. I’d like to think as each day passes, I can turn more and more pages—and not just close that chapter—but close the book that was my life with William.

  Tonight, I’m going to give Caleb a taste of what we could be like together. I’m not nervous. I’m surprised I’m not shaking with fear. Oh, I’m shaking with something all right, but it’s anticipation. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold out now that my mind is made up. We may have to leave the party early if my body keeps quaking with need and want.

  I’m incredibly hot, despite wearing a cream-colored fur shawl that Everly gave to all the girls as our bridesmaid’s gifts. They look perfect with our dresses and are appropriate given the current temperature. We’re each wearing strappy kitten heel sandals in a silver shade. Caylan said she could do a higher heel, but for her and Shanna’s safety, we completely disagreed. I’m sure she’ll thank us later when her feet aren’t screaming in agony.

  God, she and Shanna are both glowing with that pregnancy look, and I’m so happy for them. Shanna will make an excellent first-time mother, and Caylan will dominate it all over again this second time around. I sigh wistfully…I sure do love that look and feeling. It almost makes me miss those days….

  Addison and I got to talking on the way over in the limo. She and Gil’s story of how they came to be reminds me of a Cinderella fairytale. I adore the girl as much as I do the others, and since she’s in the medical field too, she always loves asking me questions, which I happily oblige. She keeps telling me I need to read a poem that Caylan wrote—it had something to do with fate, apparently. So, I tell her to give it to me the next time we’re all together.

  Before we finally exit the vehicle, I smile at Meg and remind myself I need to visit with her more often. I know she’s quite busy these days with assignments. She has blown me away lately. Since she graduated in May last year with a degree in photography, she has completely transformed, not that she was an ugly duckling by any means. I find the beauty in everyone, and I’m not snobbish like that, but let’s just say she didn’t bring all the boys to the yard. This will probably sound crappy, but she was more like a cute duck when I first met her. Now…oh my God, now she’s a captivating swan!

  The girl who once upon a time wore purple-rimmed glasses—was actually brazen, although she lived vicariously through others and was on the husky side
—is now a stone-cold fox. I don’t know how she did it. Gone are the glasses, and she shed the pounds. When I met her a few years ago, even with shoulder-length hair, I thought she looked like a tomboy. Today, however, her long brown hair comes halfway down her back and is styled in beautiful waves like her cousin’s. She and Caylan have the most amazing bond, and you’d think the two are more like sisters—now they practically look like they are, and there is no tomboy in sight. Meg’s weight loss makes her figure out of this world.

  I noticed Harold was all smiles as he walked her down the aisle. So, I wonder if the two will hit it off. It seems to me that Meg is completely unaware of her newfound sexiness. That girl needs to learn to work it and own it. I’m sure Caylan is on the case, though. And I’ve been told many times I should heed my own advice.

  We finally step out of the limo as we offer the driver our hands, and he assists us out one by one. I assume Brent and Ev’s limo is the one idling in front of ours; makes sense if they’re going to be announced to the gathered crowd for the first time as Mr. and Mrs. Peters. If I look hard enough, I’m sure I can see steam on the windows—those two!

  The guys are all lined up on the sidewalk anxiously waiting for each of us to make our appearance. Anthony and Alexi fuss over their women right away as if they haven’t seen them in forever. Gil does too, but not in the same way, and I think it’s because Addison’s not with child. Harold stands there nervously, unsure if he should approach Meg or not, but it appears he finally has some guts and makes his move to intercept her. I think to myself, good going, Tech Sergeant!

  We’re all standing about. We should be trying to get into some sort of formation to enter the building. I’m not sure where the wedding planner is, but surely she’ll be whipping us into shape any minute.

  And then suddenly…I feel his eyes upon me and turn around slowly. How the heck did he manage to get behind me? I had only taken a few steps out of the limo, but there Caleb is. Our chauffeur is driving away, and the breeze as the vehicle passes ruffles Caleb’s hair slightly and sends my dress flying up a little. A chill runs up and down my spine as the wind rushes in between my legs. But it’s quickly replaced with heat. Lots and lots of heat.

  Caleb’s fiery gaze raises my body temperature, and the chill recedes faster than it came. Somehow his irises take on a smoky hue, and I gulp loudly—I’m sure people down the block heard that noise as well as the guests inside.

  Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not nervous, so don’t go getting your panties twisted. It’s more like I’m excited, turned on, and lost to him. Speaking of panties, mine are soaked through just with his stare. I might have to go check myself in the restroom to make sure I don’t have evidence of my arousal running down my leg—surely I’d feel it, but this man makes me forget about all sense of time and place.

  I am fully aware of every little movement he makes. I notice him swallow. I notice his nostrils flare as he inhales. He seems content standing here looking at me. I faintly hear someone calling our names, but it’s fuzzy-sounding in my head. Internally, I’m abuzz with the butterfly sensations that can only come from being so enamored with another person. I’ve never felt this way before about anyone—not even William. Of course, I was attracted to my late husband back in the day, but not on this scale. Caleb is off the charts!

  I dart my tongue out, rubbing it across my plump upper lip in a naughty manner. I’m calling attention to that area because I want his eyes and focus to be right there—right there, thinking of what I will do with my mouth if given the opportunity. I swear I’m trying not to be rude and ignore those calling our names, but I’m so lost in this moment…I’m lost to this stunning man. He smiles, and my heart melts. My eyes flutter closed as if he’s caressing me, and I’m feeling every touch and sensation without him even being physical.

  When I open my eyes, he’s a breath away. I think he’s going to kiss me, but he doesn’t. His mouth is hovering near mine. Maybe I should be embarrassed or worried that our friends are bearing witness to something that’s still in its infancy; however, I can’t worry about that. This is private and intimate, and I’m tuning everything else out. And thank God the kids are already inside and not seeing this display; they rode in with Fred and Milly.

  A small puff of breath blows out from my lips, and Caleb licks his lips in response. I don’t want our first real kiss to be on this sidewalk, regardless of what my body is screaming at me. If he does move in for it, well, it’s not like I’ll deny him.

  “Sweetness…,” is what he murmurs in that velvety voice that makes love to my ears like no other sound can.

  My eardrums are doing a salsa to the timbre in that one word. Mmm, his voice is dipped in honey, coated with chocolate, and sprinkled on top are these decadent pieces of toffee. Whew, I feel light-headed like I might faint. He may notice me swaying because he grabs both my forearms to steady me. Now I’m the one finding myself grateful to have the kitten heels.

  Once it looks like he’s satisfied that I’m not going to topple over, he lets me go. I see a flicker of disappointment in his eyes. Believe me, sexy, I want you to hold me too.

  We finally come out of the horny haze we’ve been suspended in. We turn to look at our group, and there are eight pairs of eyes with knowing looks smirking at us.

  He offers me his arm and asks, “Shall we?”

  I see the wedding planner come out the front entrance, and she’s motioning to us to line up. The limo driver for Brent and Everly comes around the car and opens the door for the newlyweds to exit. It’s show time!

  I loop my arm with Caleb’s. I’m so ready to go inside for what is sure to be a life-changing evening.

  Chapter 14: Perfucktion

  Liezel

  After the introductions, eating, and toasts, the dance floor finally opens up. I’m thinking about how we’re so lucky we can enjoy the evening well into the wee hours of the morning…if we want; it’s not quite that late yet. With Stuart owning the building, there’s no fixed time we have to vacate by. The best part is that Brent and Everly reserved a block of hotel suites within walking distance, which is convenient and appreciated—I will probably still opt for driving to the hotel, though.

  The kids are going to stay in an adjoining room to mine. The room across from me houses Caleb, and the one next to him is where Alexi’s parents will be. I’m not quite sure about the rest of the wedding party, but I know we’re all on the same floor. I’m grateful we’re all in such close proximity because I don’t have to worry about the kids. Milly and Fred will certainly keep an eye on them. They told me earlier to have fun tonight. It’s almost as if they know something is going on between Caleb and me. Am I really the last one to figure this out?

  I don’t ponder that notion long, and instead, my eye catches a blue suit. My God, the handsome hero in uniform is sweeping his bride across the floor. Brent deserves the biggest kudos for the honeymoon he’s about to pull off. It’s a surprise for Everly; Alexi told me all about it.

  Brent and Ev are staying at the hotel tonight, and then tomorrow they’re flying out to California to visit all the touristy places Top Gun was filmed at—it’s their favorite movie and was a major part of the proposal. For goodness sake, we’ve practically heard the whole soundtrack played this evening! But, of course, I’m not annoyed; I find it endearing.

  Fred and Milly will be pet-sitting starting tomorrow since Maverick and Pussy—Brent and Ev’s dog and cat respectively—will need to be cared for in their absence. They had to kennel the poor things for tonight, so I’m sure they’ll be anxious to be sprung from the facility. The cat had a litter of kittens back in January, so Ev wants her white fluff-ball supervised until she gets fixed. I can’t say it enough how amazing Caylan and Brent’s parents are; I’ve never met two people like them and probably never will.

  I’ve watched all of our friends swirl and twirl across the floor during the slow songs, then shake their thang during the fast ones. I haven’t danced with Caleb…yet. I think it’s intent
ional, and mutual, because one thing may lead to another, and I don’t trust myself to keep my hands from misbehaving. So, we’ve been conducting ourselves appropriately for the sake of everyone.

  I distract myself every so often by admiring the building. I had never been to Everly’s work before tonight, but I imagine a lot of planning went into converting the huge lobby area into an elegant party room. Stuart certainly outdid himself with allowing the wedding planner to make it look so chic. The lights strewn about are magical. And that’s how this whole day has been…magical. God, I want the magic to continue the rest of the night.

  Leah, Tyler, and Kurt are all having fun playing with Emeline and chasing her around. That adorable little girl has everyone wrapped tightly around her little princess finger. Even with her doting nanny, Granny Lil, to tend to her every need, she still succeeds in tiring everyone out. It’s really sweet that Granny Lil was Alexi’s nanny as a boy, and later her role transitioned to a cook when she was no longer needed in that capacity. Alexi lovingly stole her away from his parents when he found out he was going to be a father, and now the kind, elderly woman lives with them. Please don’t think Caylan shirks her duties. Oh no, that girl is a very hands-on mom, but I’m sure she’s happy to have the help, especially with the second one coming.

  Kurt runs up to me out of breath, and I’m chuckling because he looks exhausted from entertaining Emeline.

  “Hey, sweetheart! Em’s got you tuckered out, huh?” I smile affectionately at my middle child.

  “Nah. If I wanna be in the military, I can’t sit around and do nothing,” he explains while wiping his brow.